I'm just the chauffeur and the cook!

I knew independence was going to happen, I just didn't think it would happen so quickly!

I grew up with my mother talking about the craziness of multiple carpools, and the driving around, cooking big meals for us every day, and her joking how she was the chauffeur, the cook, and the maid. I never meant to make her feel like that, but the truth is, kids are pretty needy, and so I suppose it happened regardless of our intentions or level of gratitude. We reach that level of independence all too quickly where we depend on our parents more for practical matters and less for wisdom and guidance. Of course I hope that they will always welcome my teachings and direction, but I also know that at a certain point they will want to spread their wings without me. Or at least, without me hanging on too tight.

I always figured I had more time before I get to that stage. After all, the twins are only two, they are still pretty dependant on us. And even Gavriel needs us.

Doesn't he?

Fast forward to bathtime last night, where my darling husband was supervising the twins in the bath. Keeping them from going under, or whacking each other with the rubber duckies. All of a sudden I overhear from the bedroom...

Nadav: Why?
Ilan: Because!
Nadav: Why?
Ilan: Because!
Nadav: Why?
Ilan: Because!

This went on for a LONG time.

Raising twins has always been an adventure. Challenging on the best of days, and all encompassing and exhausting on the hard ones. And while I was laughing over this conversation, and grinning at Ari, I was also marveling at the independence that having a twin provides. They have each other to be there for one another, to answer those eternal "whys?" They always will. I just hope they let us guide them once in a while. Or at least let us in on the joke.

postscript.

Overheard from the adult Lowells in the house.

Ari:
"I'm moving to a deserted Island. Alone. You can't come with me and I'm not leaving a forwarding address." (as Ilan is screaming at 3am)
"I'm buying cake. And eating the entire thing alone." (as Ilan is screaming for chicken during dinner)
"Where is the eject button?" (as Ilan is screaming in the car)

Shana:
"Um Ari, I have this really important, um, conference, yeah, a conference I need to go to, so I will be gone from tomorrow until next Thursday. Don't worry, I'll get a sitter for an hour or two. BYE!"
"Ari love, if I make the shabbat chicken will you do Friday carpool for me?"
"Um Ari, can you do the chicken?" (only after he gets home from carpool...)

Both of us:
"No! We don't want to be superheroes again, Gavriel!"
"Did Ilan just say what we think he said?"
"Oh #$%^, where's Nadav? It's too quiet in this house. Go search all the bathrooms, electronics, and outside doors."

Yes, my friends. They can open doors now. Be on the lookout on Revere and Windsor for little legs running. We are in SUCH trouble, and calling the locksmith in the morning.

Overheard in the Lowell home...

Gavriel:
"Ima, maybe Hashem ate my extra missing candy and was punishing me for something I did wrong" (Yes, we talked about how Hashem doesn't punish little boys)
"Ima, I want to help you, I want to do mitzvot and be a tzadik"
"Ima, I think we should stop for a slurpee. And candy. And maybe another snack. Ima, can I have chocolate milk when we get home?"
"Ima, I voted for chocolate. You could vote for chocolate or twizzlers. It was election day Ima."

Ilan:
"Get out of my way"
"me do it!"
"me want dinner, me want chicken now"
"me want something else" (in middle of night, demanding an extra stuffed animal in the crib)
"Dav!" (when asked by Ari in the morning who should be changed first)
"me want more cookies please!"
"dav hit me! he hit me!"
"you okay Ima?" (asked me after I tripped)

Nadav:
"more please!"
"my shoes"
"me too!"
"me fun!"
"hop pop!" (read hop on hop Gavriel!)

It may not seem like a lot from Nadav, but some of those sounds are brand new, and we are extremely proud of him trying so hard to speak. As for the other two, well, Ilan clearly is making his wishes known on a daily basis, and is often looking out for others, especially Nadav. Gavriel is doing great in first grade, and continues to grapple with our teachings, our religion, and the modern world we live in. Man, we're busy, we're tired, but we're having fun too. At least once or twice a day Ari and I just glance at each other, saying with our eyes, yes, they're totally nuts and drive us crazy, but they are so cute and sweet too.

Well, in daylight, at least.

Better than nothing, so no griping!

Random yet important

Please forgive the mish-mash of topics. Life has been a bit hectic lately. Yes, it's always hectic.

Bzzzzzz...
Poor Ilan was stung by a bee this week. He reached down to get a book and a dying bee stung him. He was so shocked that an animal hurt him, that all he could say was "bzzzz hurt me!" It reminds me of the time Gavriel saw his first elephant at the zoo. He was terrified and shocked at how big it was, compared to the ones in his books. It always reminds me that they have no frame of reference for anything beyond what we teach them. Lions are no more fierce than puppies, and both are inventions of literature in our home.

While I was away...
My loving husband held down the fort while I went to Ottawa to volunteer for a very important conference sponsored by the Coalition for Breech Birth. www.breechbirth.ca It was monumental, and the perfect blend of practical medical information and the emotional face of what is wrong in our health care system. I also got to meet, have lunch, and get a hug from Ina May Gaskin. Google her. She is the mother of modern midwifery and a living icon. I was also given the opportunity to hold the Mother's quilt, similar to the AIDS quilt, with squares memorializing mothers who have been lost to childbirth. It was a very emotional moment, and I could feel the pain of those families who had made the beautiful patches.
The conference really was AMAZING, as was my opportunity to meet and chat with outstanding birth practitioners from Israel, Australia, Germany, the UK, Canada and the US. By this point, I think I can safely catch a breech baby, but think maybe I'll leave that one to the experts. I also was privileged to see my good friend Robin perform in an outstanding play, Birth, by Karen Brody and the BOLD initiative. I spent most of intermission processing my emotions from the play, but also just sitting and being so proud of being this woman's friend. The best part, however, was while waiting in the airport to fly back home, I was told by two separate midwives and an OB also waiting for their flights that they now feel energized to go home and tackle their hospital's anti-breech anti-VBAC policies. I feel like that is the best we could have hoped for from the attendees.

Moving on to reason number 457 why I deserve to have a daughter:
Gavriel: (while running and whooping through the house) I'm spike! I'm nightcrawler! I'm an x-man!
Ilan: (chasing after him and jumping in front of me) Me an x-man too Ima! Me an x-man!
Nadav: me too!

Why I love Jewish day school:
Gavriel this am early in my bed: Here Ima, hold Foxy (stuffed animal), she'll help you have good dreams.
Me: oh really, what did you dream about?
Gavriel: Me and Abba, and Ilan and Nadav, we were, how do you say it? The ones that give you a bracha in shul? Oh right, we were Cohen's. And we were in the Beit Hamikdash. Oh, but not the regular ones. We were the Cohen Gadol. So we got to talk to Hashem. Ima, do we get to have the special clothes too?

later in the day...
Me: Gavriel, please stop disciplining your brothers. You worry about taking care of you, and your Abba and I will take care of them.
Gavriel: But Ima, I want to be a tzadik. I want to do lots of mitzvot. So I'm helping take care of them.

And that's the way we roll folks. Hang on, some fun pictures coming soon.

Someone explain to me why it's fuzzy on blogger but clear on Iphoto?

from left to right: Ilan, Nadav, Gavriel. Eating the most boring dinner I could possibly have come up with.

And then there's the silent but deadly type.

Let's face it. When Ilan is causing mischief, it's not a secret. He's loud, he's boisterous, he's exuberant, and he stays up close and personal, flaunting the mischief making in front of you.

Nadav, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother ballgame. Once upon a time in single-child land, when the house was quiet, I would (rightly) assume that Gavriel was busy playing alone, and rejoice in the silence and go take a nap. Nowadays that silence is reason for concern because Nadavi, oh, my Nadavi. He is the one who you need to go looking for when things get a bit too quiet. The one who is going to take my toaster apart like his Uncle Zeke, or maybe even the dining room table, just like his Abba. He's the reason I keep all the doors shut, and have considered toilet locks.

The thing is, Davi is really a very good kid. He cooperates while getting dressed, likes getting his diaper changed, and generally goes along with the flow. He's not a climber, and he's generally not destructive. He just truly thinks about things and works on seeing how they tick, in both objects and people alike. He's started putting together train track, and likes puzzles as well. He puts up with Ilan's persistent mischievousness and likes to join in on the game, flashing the dimples he knows will exonerate him. But he also likes to sit on the sidelines and watch. He'll watch the dynamic, watch the action, and then jump in if he's comfortable.

Nadav is still mostly non-verbal. He resembles a caveman at times, using grunts and gestures to convey his intent, and has no problem doing so. He has a few critical words such as "want this", "mine", and the all important "me too", but it strikes me that most of his words are questions: "where's abba? what's dat? why dat? where are you?" And just recently I began hearing "why?" The why I haven't heard from the other two, that didn't occur to them to ask. But for this one, the why is more important than the rest of the words still waiting to be mastered.

They say we spend the first year waiting for our children to take their first step, and say their first word, and then the rest of their lives wanting to tell them to sit down and shut up. In our case, Nadav was my latest walker, and my latest talker, but I have a feeling that once he gets going, he's going to be unstoppable. And while I know those why's will drive me crazy, I absolutely can't wait to hear what's going on behind that silent face.

I would like to make an announcement.

We have emptied the last of the boxes, and blinds are finally going up on the windows. Someone say a prayer, we managed to do it, and it isn't even a year yet. Just under nine months, to be exact. Hallelujah!

No, we haven't finished anything else on the house to do list, but dang it, we can walk around naked and have no boxes!!!

No, we don't really walk around naked. Not that you could tell anyways with the blinds up :)